The Editor, Part V
Suffering
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Content warnings:
Bodily fluids and stuff
Something was wrong. Lilia’s body, lying under the blanket, felt extremely heavy. It was dark, but the thick drapes on the windows always had this effect, so she had no idea what time it was. Only the LEDs of electrical appliances shed dim light on her small bedroom. Only the muffled noises outside her window suggested that it could already be morning.
Yet, her alarm hadn’t rang yet, so Lilia tried to turn in her bed to get more comfortable. The tiny movement triggered a tingling numbness throughout her body. At first, it was just annoying, but the feeling grew, and then became violent. It was like she was filled with white noise that violently tried to escape the trap of her skin.
Shit, what’s happening?
Lilia carefully moved the blanket away, and her body spasmed, for the air seemed ice-cold. Shaking and sweating, she awkwardly got up, unsure why she would do that. Everything blurred and darkened, and her feeble strength was also leaving. She tried not to fall to the floor, and her stomach spasmed. Vomit hit the floor. The stomach let go for a moment and then spasmed again. And again. And again.
The alarm on her phone went off. PUM-PIM-PUM. PUM-PIM-PUM…
Lilia gagged and puked and couldn’t breathe, and her stomach hurt hard, still spasming, unable to eject anything else, for she had nothing more inside of her.
Totally spent, she slid on the floor right into the pool of vomit, heavily breathing in the stench, shaking from the cold, and powerlessly listening to the alarm.
PUM-PIM-PUM. PUM-PIM-PUM…
It didn’t get any better. Her whole body was still very heavy, unwieldy, and nasty. The white noise filling it was as strong as ever, now accompanied by the pain in her stomach.
PUM-PIM-PUM. PUM-PIM-PUM…
She carefully stretched out her hand, more feeling than seeing the room that was making rounds around her, and reached for her phone under the pillow. With shaking hands, she killed the alarm and tried to rest.
Seconds passed. Minutes. It probably became a tiny bit better.
Was it something she ate? No. She didn’t have any dinner, and if it were food poisoning, it would’ve made itself known hours ago.
Could it be a virus? Probably. Yet, a new feeling wouldn’t leave Lilia. Dark and sticky, it originated deep inside her, and she felt that it was responsible for what had just happened. The doctors won’t be able to help here, she thought for some reason. Well, they probably could quench some of the symptoms, but not fix the root cause. This nasty, burning sensation in her very core was telling her that it had something to do with her power.
With shaking hands, she unlocked her phone on the third try and read through the notifications. Reading or thinking was hard, so she took it slowly. News. Ads. Usual stuff. And...
Her eyes went wide, which didn’t help them to focus. Squinting, she read the email. Suspended. Her Onlinepedia account was suspended. The conduit of her “superpower” was no more. Could it be it? Would she feel better if her access was restored?
Her blood ran cold. What would’ve happened if her account were outright deleted? No, no, it can’t be that the universe cared about such trivialities. Since she was cut off from her ability, it wouldn’t matter what terminology was used for this action. Yet…
The events of yesterday flashed before her eyes. She used Liz’s account to make lessons in critical thinking mandatory, and it worked. Could it be that her current state was due to her using a different “conduit” for her power? Or could it be that she was still alive only because she now had access to a new “conduit?” What would’ve happened if they had decided to wait before making the change? What would’ve happened if she didn’t know Liz and never used her account?
Tears ran down Lilia’s cheeks, and the spasms that overtook her no longer originated in her stomach. She didn’t sign up for this! She didn’t agree to lie in the pool of her own vomit, too afraid and weak to move. She just wanted to do what she could to better the world, not wonder if she could’ve died yesterday! And yet, it was too late. She could not take it all back. Not if it meant leaving Liz at the mercy of cancer treatments and medications. Not after what they’ve done yesterday. She was now stuck in the present, and she had to live with it.
~*~
“Open up, Lilia!” Liz’s knocks threaten to break the door.
Her tears had dried up, but when she tried to stand up, the room started spinning again, and the sensation of painful numbness returned stronger than ever.
“Lilia, I know you’re there, open up!” Somehow, Liz’s voice made it all the way through the apartment effortlessly.
Lilia tried to move again, then cursed herself for being stupid.
Her fingers typed and sent the message, “Stop banging. I’m coming.” And then she carefully got on all fours and headed towards the front door. Even this was almost too much effort, making her vision dark and sending her head spinning, but Lilia forced herself to move. If it were her life now, she might as well start getting used to it right now.
The banging was indeed gone, allowing Lilia to reach the front door in silence. She pulled the deadbolt, then the doorknob.
“Lilia, you—” Liz’s worried voice started. But as she saw her friend struggling to remain seated on the floor, she locked the door and knelt before her.
“How many fingers do I show?” Liz asked. Her big, gray eyes stared into Lilia’s. Her nostrils widened, for she probably felt the stench of vomit.
“Two.” Lila let herself be examined.
For some reason, being on the floor, dishelved, naked, weak, and sick in front of Liz wasn’t embarrassing. Instead, it was comforting and touching to receive empathy and care.
Yet, when Liz lay her down on her back and started poking her in the stomach, Lilia asked, “Do you know what you’re doing?”
Liz nodded. “I never became a physician, but I was at the finish line — worked at a hospital and everything. What happened to you?”
Lilia chuckled, which caused a new wave of discomfort. “I didn’t know about your past studies. I hope you’ve changed your course due to passion, not necessity.”
Liz nodded, smiling. An uplifting feeling flushed through Lilia. For the first time today, she thought that maybe everything could still be alright.
‘Judging by how hard you were banging at the door,” Lilia continued, “you’ve learned that my account was suspended, haven’t you?”
Liz nodded, looking back and forth between the sofa in the living room and Lilia.
“I’ve only learned an hour ago, so no, it wasn’t like I had any time to get drunk,” Lilia explained. “No, I think it’s much worse than that…”
She recounted her hypothesis to Liz, who listened carefully. Silence filled the room as Liz was searching for more explanations. Her eyes were slightly moving under the furrowed eyebrows, looking through Lilia.
“Well, I can’t see anything wrong with you,” Liz finally spoke. “It doesn’t mean much just yet, but I think we can get you comfortable and wait for a bit, see what happens. I’ll order some medicine, if you don’t have it already, clean you up, and just keep an eye on you for now.”
“Err…” Lilia’s mouth opened on its own while she was shaking her head just a little. “No, Liz, I can’t ask you to do all that. I’ll manage somehow.”
Liz smiled. “You never asked me, actually, so you have nothing to refuse. Now, you’re in my power, mu-ha-ha! After all, what are the sidekicks for if not to take care of their heroines?”
~*~
Rat-Tat-Tat! Someone knocked on the door
Lilia, now lying on the sofa, clean and clothed, tried to stand up, but her vision blurred immediately, and her newfound strength disappeared.
“Are you expecting someone?” Liz laid down her book and strode to the front door.
“No.” Lilia closed her eyes, breathing heavily not to puke again.
Liz gazed into the door peephole and saw two tall and lean, dark-haired people, a man and a woman, wearing dark clothes. There was something strange about them. Liz already wanted to step back and pretend that no one was home when the woman knocked on the door again.
Liz looked back at Lilia, who was confused by the behavior of her sidekick. With a quiet sigh, Liz opened up.
“Greetings. We’re looking for Lilia Chirchill,” said the man with a heavy accent. The woman stayed silent.
They looked like siblings: the same long, black, wavy hair, the same pretty nose, pale skin, and long, lean face. And they wore similar clothes: black, long, and elegant — almost old-fashioned. Only their eyes were different. The green-eyed man looked at Liz with curiosity, offering her a handshake. The gray-eyed woman seemed suspicious and on edge while keeping her hands in her pockets.
“She lives here, yes. Who are you?” Liz asked, taking half a step outside.
“My name is Emil,” the man said, glancing at his still outstretched hand. “Happy to make your acquaintance.”
Staring at that hand became impossible, so Liz shook it. It seemed like Emil hardly ever did physical exercises. Plus, the second her hand touched his, the curiosity on Emil’s face softened.
“We’re here to speak to Ms. Chirchill,” he repeated. “If she comes back later, we—”
“It’s okay, Liz!” Lilia’s voice came from behind Liz’s back.
She sighed heavily and stepped out of the way.
“Oh…” Emil said, stepping in and finally seeing the object of his interest. “I hope we didn’t wake you up.”
The woman followed the man closely. Her gray eyes quickly examined every millimeter of the room before they continued watching Liz with something like suspicion.
“Who are you?” Lilia asked. “We’re not buying anything.”
Emil laughed. “I’ve never sold anything in my life. I just wanted to meet you, Ms. Chirchill. My name is Emil, and that is my sister, Emilia.”
He leaned forward, offering a handshake. Lilia managed to raise her hand a bit to accept it, preparing for the nasty, white-noise sensation she had while Liz handled her. Yet, when their hands met, it felt… Cold but pleasant? Calming but electrifying? Firm but fleeting? Yes, all of those combined! But how?
Emil’s green eyes widened as he took half a step back. “It is you! I—” He stopped himself, glancing at Liz. “Does she know?”
Lilia frowned, yearning to shake his hand again. She might have felt a bit better, but thinking was still hard. “Knows what?”
“Does. She. Know?” Emil repeated in a very particular voice.
Silence.
“Are you talking about the yellow flowers?” Liz, whose mind had been racing the whole time, asked.
Emil furrowed his eyebrows, staring at her. “Blue flowers, yes.”
He opened a small shoulder bag and retrieved one. “And they are blue because…” He waited for Liz to continue.
“Because Lilia made them so. You know about her… ability. That’s why you’re here.”
“Yes, we do. And yes, that’s why we came. But…” He turned back to her. “What happened to you, miss? When I shook your hand, I could feel your Gift, but it was sickly hot, mangled, and kind of sticky.”
Lilia, aware of her mental condition, delegated the talking to Liz, who thoroughly interrogated Emil before saying anything about their situation.
“So, there is a person who sometimes kidnaps the ‘Blessed’, probably to force them to do something, and who sometimes kills them?” She summarized. “And you offer us protection and ask for our help in finding the bastard?”
Emil nodded. “While we’re next to Emilia, Harvester can’t feel us. We must use this protection. We must find Harvester and prevent anyone else from being kidnapped or killed. And if you refuse to help us, then, at the very least, we can get you to a place more secure than this apartment.”
Liz sighed, unsure what to do. Now, she was responsible not only for herself, but also for her heroine.
“If we skip work, get fired, and our Onlinepedia accounts lose their privileges, it may end up even worse for Lilia.”
Emil nodded. “I’ll make a few calls. We’ll arrange for a reason for you to work not just remotely but from a different country. I know people who know people. It kinda became a part of the job.”
Liz chewed on her lips a little. “Let me check your story first. If you two check out, we’ll come with you.”
Emil nodded, smiling. “Absolutely. I very much hope you won’t find much, but if you do, that’ll help us to hide our tracks even better. Harvester can’t know our names or faces. And if he won’t ever learn yours, that would be a victory all in itself.”
The End of Part V
Anton Anderson, 2025
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